In case you are wondering what qualities I am NOT looking for in a girlfriend, this post is for you. Here's a nice list for those who have been asking me recently:
"What qualities will prevent me from getting a date from Dan Peters?"
1. Red Hair
2. Australian Accent
3. Skinny
4. Too Much Makeup
5. First Name Not Ending In The Letter "A"
(nothing personal, had this one since I was 13)
6. Digimon Fan
7. Dad Who is in Construction or Some Other Trade
8. Bruises Easily
9. Facial Hair (unless you have hypertrichosis)
10. Horse Lover
11. Taller Than Me
12. Foot Odor
13. Friend of Jackie's (my sister)
14. Likes the TV Show "Seventh Heaven"
15. Wears Chokers
16. Bad Speller
17. Sci-Fi Lover
18. Listens to Country Music
19. Drinks Wine
20. Hugs Everyone
I hope that helps you out. I'll keep you posted if more undesirable qualites come to mind.
Friday, September 01, 2006
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10 comments:
Haha! Bruises easily? Is that so you can hit her and have no evidence left behind?
I'm on to you brother...
So cooper, is it just me or did you put down something about every girl you know? especially Suzette?
i think Celia is on to something...number 16...i knew that would be a problem ;)
Hahahahaha.... Digimon fan. Did you get that one from me?
And Jaclyn, You were right. The reason why she can't bruise easily is so there is not 'signs' of his nasty blows.
Oh Dan, we need another 18 hour drive to extend those lists!
well celia, you got me! i have yet to meet one girl who could pass my test...in fact, if I did meet someone who didn't have any of these qualities, I'd probably discover item #21 in her!
and yes tyson, digimon fan is one pearl of wisdom i got from you.
and no jaclyn and tyson, easily bruised has nothing to do with me beating women, it has to do with my cannibalism. you wouldn't want a bruised apple would you?
hhahahahahhahahahahahahaahhhaa
So uhhh, about #16.. that surprises me alot. I mean don't you WANT to watch mystery science theater with your future girl friend and laugh together? By the way, have you seen the Shorts, specifically the one about girls going off to a sort of 'domestication' school. FUNNY!
so, remind me, how does this joke go?: What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend... oh wait.. i just remembered... ha ha ha. I will have to retell that one to dave when he gets back. he will be disgusted, my favortie reaction!
Oh dan, throw your list to the wind my dear friend.
-janie
Cannibal. Ha.
I was going to comment on this post once before but I got the word verification wrong so I gave up. Here goes nothing.
You got me at foot odor.
I agree with everything on this list. Also you should consider not being cousins. I know its probably an unspoken rule but you can never be too sure.
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