#19 - Drinks Wine

This post is partly inspired by Nancy, not because she drinks wine, but because she (like me) absolutely hates the wretched stuff!!! Gag me, it's like drinking urine (caution on that link!).

I just want to personally thank from the bottom of my heart Thomas Bramwell Welch for creating a substitute to communion wine and Stephen G. Martinelli for your protestant substitute at weddings.

But actually, it really has nothing to do with the taste of wine that bothers me about girls who drink wine. It has to do with the whole subculture of it. As we've already seen, some of the items on the List are there because they stand for something much deeper. A girl who listens to country music typically has that country way of living. A girl who is really into sci-fi tends to have a personality I'm not attracted to. So we come to wine drinkers (Sorry Janie, I smell another generalization coming on...).

I was trying to think of a way to describe a certain type of girl that I couldn't see myself with and I was reminded of an episode of Red Dwarf. Lister is upset because he believes the girl of his dreams has run off with some prude:

"Why do women always leave me for total smegheads? Why do they dump me for men who wear turtleneck sweaters and smoke a pipe? I mean, natural yoghurt eaters! Reliable, sensible, dependable, and lots of other words that end in "-ible." He's obsessed with house-prices, and spends half his life in antique fairs looking for bargains and drinking wine. It's never beer, is it, it's always wine! "What do you want on your cornflakes, darling?" "Oh, I'll have some wine, please!" Smeg!"

I am a messy guy. I couldn't handle someone who is high maintenance, I would lose it. I don't want to be with someone who appears to "have it altogether". I like that I don't always fret over my appearance or my shortcomings.

I'm also not much of a culinary expert. I don't really care how food is made, or what goes into it. I love burgers and pizza. I don't think I could be with someone who feels the need to go to fancy restaurants all the time and have elegant meals. Granted, time to time that's cool, and I'm willing to oblige in the name of romance, but it's certainly not my forte.

And I'm not even going to go into the social aspect of this type of lifestyle. I don't intend or desire to be affluent or to swing with people of such "significance". Wine drinkers are snobs who think they are better than everyone else!!!

So if you liked the movie Sideways I pity you...