Kortney IV

How has this Christmas day been treating you all??? My aunt and uncle and cousin and others just left after a tough game of stock ticker. I didn't win...


And when it comes to Kortney, I never win. Everyone knows I've been crushing on her the first day I met her, but of course I was too chicken to say anything or do anything. And then I made up a whole bunch of stories about how we dated and kissed and stuff, but the reality is...

I made it all up. Yes, for the most part I lied to you and I lied to myself. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I finally have to man up and come clean. "Why?" you ask. Because Kortney is now officially a mother and I don't go for women with kids.


Proud parents of the beautiful Alexys May Story

And I know for sure that her child is not mine, because I did not have sex with her (thank you Conor for explaining how that works.). I've learned a lot about life from Kortney's recent journey into motherhood. Let me share what I've discovered:


1. I won't be able to give a truly accurate definition of the word happiness until I hold my own baby in my arms.


2. Babies fall asleep in Santa's arms.


3. If you're a good girl, you might get a baby for Christmas.


4. It's okay to eat babies (as long as you share).


Wait, maybe this is my kid...look at the size of those feet! Conor, are you sure???


5. If you piss babies off, they will punch you out.


Hey! Chelsea came all this way, but didn't even call me?!?!!

6. Chelsea cares about babies more than me.

(unfortunately there are no pics to go with the last few pieces of wisdom)

7. Certain parts of your body change shape, and they probably won't change back.

8. Even though your child poops at the worst possible times, you won't get angry because the love of a mother is stronger than that.

9. Labour is something you would want to do again...in a heartbeat!

10. Peeing in the shower is a great suggestion (but I already knew this).

So Kortney, this is it! I'm officially letting you go and wish you and your family all the best. Thanks for not beating me up, Jordan.


Hope you all have a happy new year!

Another Year of Presents...

I'm too tired to post. I'm even skipping out of midnight mass, which I'm disappointed about, but I'm so out of it.

Mike had my name for the Christmas draw this year. He got me a couple movies, which of course he opened before he gave them to me. He gave me Step Brothers and Tropic Thunder. I watched Step Brothers just the other day and to be honest, it was okay, but not something I'd want to own. I was still grateful, I'd probably watch it again anyways.

But then later on Mike got Dark Knight from my Mom, but he had already gotten it from his girlfriend. So he offered to trade me Step Brothers for Dark Knight. That worked out perfectly cause I would much rather have that (it was like Mike read my mind!).

And guess what else I got???? LOST Season 4!!!!!!!! That's one set of DVDs I don't have to buy now.

Looks like my Wed. and Sun. blogging commitment is finished and I didn't write one post about Kortney!!?! Don't worry, you'll get one tomorrow.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!!

Josh Hughes Talks to Himself Some More

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 10:41pm on September 5th, 2008 you spelled CANNON wrong fool why i oughta.....ooh...potential burnout target *dives out window to get it*....Safetyyyyyyyyyyy fiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssssstttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....kids don't do drugs(music note:)

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 3:49pm on September 8th, 2008 curses....and i thot i was safe from the blueberry pie....unfortunately NO, it ate me...oh look a window(overjoyed expression on face)!!!!!!!!!! ...eeheeheeheeeheeeheee

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 9:37pm on September 10th, 2008 Josh is amazing cos he's sick or is he sick cos he's amazing....AMAZING SICKNESS....do you want it? :)

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 4:45pm on September 11th, 2008 Scandinavia made me there king(yes its now a monarchy) then they ordered an airstrike on my position...."have fun they said"...little do they know I was officially on their team and it wasn't hardcore mode so i couldnt die by my allies' airstrike....ahahahahahaha....then i drank a cup of coffe and headed out on the open road on my motorcycle wondering hey what did happen to those ten polar bears i wrestled..oh yes....incapacitated:)

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 3:26pm on September 12th, 2008 I'll think about it you ole humbugger you...that means no:)

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 11:52pm on September 13th, 2008 Preserved guests antagonize over fuel without dirt on training tested elusive street polar bears banned Canada's Santa Claus only it's 3rd produced defence of a yearly chosen considered mob boss replaced making World's moose Vulcan in jail underground before "Tubbers" discovered unmarried rats in post office theatre 09/13/08---->06/27/09

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 11:56pm on September 13th, 2008 now there is backround to this comment(the one above)...it was late...i was bored...so i looked in our school planner which has, every two pages a small tidbit of info...starting at the first date(see above) i picked 1-2 words in which to write down...continuing this to the end of the tidbits(the end date)....i made it sound somwhat understandable but not really ...anyways yes this was random however i felt i should share it...pls comment:)

The Story Behind the Last Post

the story behind that is...this girl in the youth put up a prince caspian picture on facebook and she tagged herself and her sister in it.

but the sister was tagged in a funny spot, so i commented on it, and it was late and i was tired and i thought this is so ridiculous tagging yourself into a movie picture, so i tagged all the people in the photo with people from our youth group.

then this long conversation erupted among all of us on the one picture wall and we decided to continue to comment on this picture for as long as we could. but then josh hughes started inserting random comments all the time and people slowly stopped commenting. and i wanted to keep it going so i asked josh to maybe try and continue the conversation rather than killing it all the time.

so of course that just inspired him to write even stupider things. so in protest i erased myself from the wall and i deleted all my comments and then clayton did too, and im trying to get others also, so that its just one long page of josh talking to himself.

that posted is one section where it's just him after our comments were deleted.

Josh Hughes Talks to Himself

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 10:30am on August 25th, 2008 stop making my laugh and cry at the same time

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 10:24pm on August 26th, 2008 aye questionable....and yes it is inside

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 11:01am on August 27th, 2008 absolutely so dont let any gangs with chandeliers chase me

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 6:39pm on August 28th, 2008 so a dance party eh?? well im gonna gettin my freak on so watch world...i can't dance Freak-dancing Josh is a registered product in Canada therefore applicable taxes will be charged, limited quantities...no correction...one quantities BUY NOW:)...if you dare:)

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 11:58pm on August 30th, 2008 of course im demented how else do you think i can drink so many pops...play so much Cod Frog and smile every time i see your face:)

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 10:15pm on August 31st, 2008 well darn tootin you ole flaming hobo

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 12:35pm on September 1st, 2008 yes yes it did...i got picked first...neddless to say that didnt go so well

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 1:30pm on September 1st, 2008 he was a good one...until he fell into...into ...that nest of munchkins...he never had a chance....when they found him...he had no shins left!!!

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 10:50pm on September 2nd, 2008 lol so you forgot there was a picture attached to all these comments???...oh Clay are we gonna havta to you out to the backyard and...have you not come back???

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 9:08pm on September 3rd, 2008 so then i decided to live again

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 10:25pm on September 3rd, 2008 woof....thats what the cabin boy said before we threw him overboard:)

Josh Hughes (Delta Secondary School) wrote at 11:00pm on September 4th, 2008 i never asked to be a donkey -_-Clay-_- don't you remember what mr nelson told us a bout assume-ing...anyways hows the rash.....?

Cleaning Makes Me Happy

So why don't I do it more often?

Funny how that works eh? Everytime I clean up my place I feel such accomplishment and relief. And I'll just sit on the couch or lie in bed and just look around and feel good about myself. Yet, it still takes me so long to finally get the desire up to get it done.

And that's why I didn't start cleaning today until 9pm. I've been sitting at home doing nothing all day, haha. We're getting new windows installed tomorrow and I didn't want my place to be its usual disaster when they came down here. There's not much more to clean, just organize all the junk on the counters and kitchen table.


And I finally got a heater in my room, oh man, I had to sleep with a toque last night. What a glorious sleep I will get tonight!

To Buy or Not To Buy?

Here's the thing. I'm pretty much filthy rich. Whenever I want something, I buy it. It's not really that hard. Except of course really expensive things I don't buy for myself unless I plan ahead.

So let's say I want to buy an LCD High Definition TV. I want it, but I don't think I can really afford it, so I weigh out my options. Do I save up to spend so much money on a tv? Is it worth it?


On the other hand, let's say I want to get the new season of Lost on DVD. It costs about $40. I don't even have to think about it, I just buy it.

So when it comes to wish lists, they're kinda silly in my position. What do I put on a wish list? All the things I want I can buy, I don't need someone else to buy them for me. And there's no way I can put those expensive items on my list cause there's no way anyone's going to be buying me an LCD HDTV.


So what do I do? I just stop buying the things I want for a few months and wait for other people to buy them for me. And all the things that they didn't buy I'll just pick up the next week. Like Lost on DVD. Let's see if I have to buy it after Christmas or not...

Okay, so back to my thoughts on gift-giving. We've all got lots of money, so why are we buying each other presents? I know if my friend wants something he can buy it himself. I guess the argument is to find the present that hasn't been found yet. So it's like, hey, here's a rare treasure for you...yeah, I think that's a legitimate reason to buy something for someone. Especially when you see something in a store and you think how someone else would love that. But otherwise, why buy something someone else can get on their own?


But of course, when you know someone needs something, like food or clothing that they can't afford, obviously those should be bought. But most of my friends or family are rich, so maybe instead of buying presents for them I should be buying necessities for strangers.

And in place of buying presents for those I know, I think I'll make presents instead. That way, they're more personal and they actually require some effort, thought, and time. So, this Christmas season, expect to get homemade presents from me (or possibly a few bought presents I stumble upon).


ps. - as i've been writing this post, three other topics kept creeping in and i just felt it wasn't fair to squeeze them into this topic. so be prepared for future posts that will discuss (a) the attitude of receiving gifts (b) expecting gifts at certain times of year and (c) giving gifts to children or teens.

What am I doing?

That's a really good question.

I'm not depressed or losing sleep or anything.

I'm really lazy and that hasn't changed since I was a kid. I think it's safe to say that won't be changing anytime soon. So maybe I should stop kicking myself over it. I don't know.

I kinda want to run away, but that's not really surprising. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. I think I'm just feeling restless. Well actually my first inclination is to run away from responsibility. Break the cycle, break the cycle. I'm pretty good at doing that.

It's just not very fun.

"It's a Girl!!!"

That's what I was hoping to hear...but instead,"IT'S A BOY!!!"


Jackie was due on the 24th, but unlike myself, this baby decided to show up early. On the 5th Jackie's water broke, but she wasn't having contractions (or something like that, i don't really know how this all works). so the doctor sent her home and she came back in at 7:30 in the morning and they began the process of labour induction. Everything really started kicking in at 12:30 and that's when Jackie had the funnest time of her life!

2 hours later the baby entered the real world much to everyone's delight. I was at Stillwood with the youth helping out with their Single Mom's retreat, so I finally got to see the little guy today. Of course I didn't even touch him, haha. I think I'll wait till I have a kid of my own before I try taking care of someone else's.

So at 7 lbs, 4 oz my newest nephew is finally realized. And he shall be called Finnian Benedict Sweeney. I noticed at the Single Mom's retreat that all the kids had uncommon names. I think that's the latest trend, and I'm glad to see Conor jumping on this cultural bandwagon. I really like the name personally. I can't wait to call him Finn for the rest of his life. That's awesome! And I will think of Huck Finn when I say that. As we all know Huck Finn is not your conventional middle class white boy. He breaks the social norms due to his background and upbringing and sees life from a fresh perspective. He's also kinda lazy! My kinda kid...


I forgot this story, but Jackie reminded me tonight that the baby first start kicking when Jackie saw Pope Benedict at World Youth Day in Australia. That's why they choose Benedict for the middle name (plus I think they think he's a cool guy).

When I thought of that name I began thinking of Phineas, but I couldn't remember where I heard that from. So then I Jackie&Daned it and guess where I know it??? Harry Potter!!!


Phineas Nigellus Black. The least popular headmaster in Hogwarts history. Great-great grandfather of Sirius Black (Harry's Godfather). He is a snide, sarcastic fellow. He has little patience for the feelings and the problems of others, particularly young people, whom he finds tedious and self-absorbed. So along with Finn, I will also be calling him Phineas...

Which personality do you think he will grow into?

the girl of my dreams - #11

11. creative in thinking however not artistic however plays the piano


i'm not exactly sure i know what creative in thinking means. i could use some help on this one. so creative in thinking as opposed to creative in doing? so she will be imaginative, innovative, original in thought, but she won't be the one to actually do the work? like i said earlier, i would love to be with someone who i can have some sweet conversations with, and to keep up with my warped mind will definitely require creativity. so, i hope megan's right...


but not artistic? everyone is an artist to some extent, but i think she's saying it won't be her main passion in life or that art is something she's not necessarily super-talented at. that's the same as me. although i have a thing for artists, i don't think stereotypically they would like me, so i can deal with that.


but she plays the piano??? probably forced to learn by her parents. i'm learning piano, but i haven't really been putting my whole heart into it. i haven't had a lesson for like 2 months...uggh.

well the girl of my dreams gets clearer and clearer in my mind as we progress (and by clearer i mean confusinger). i saw this ad on craigslist. i wonder if it's for me???

I have a drawing of you on my fridge! - 30 (Vancouver)

Seriously. A little girl drew it for me several years ago. Also, a friend had a dream about you around the same time; same description.

Brown curly hair (or dark at least), light skinned and you are more than likely a doctor, or something in healing. And you feel me already.

Send a picture with your reply. I'm 30, blond hair, blue eyes, 5'5, medium build, educated/intelligent, liberal christian, and you'll know me when you see me.

should i reply??????

At Arm's Length

I have relational issues, as I'm sure you all know about me. The other night I realized that I keep everyone at arm's length. But....I don't really know why I do it. I have some ideas, but I've never fully thought it through.

Some starting points:

- I like to be in control

- I have been hurt in the past and don't want that to happen again

- It's just easier being alone

- I know too many people

Let me think about this some more.

Why Compare?

"The world in which I have grown up is a world so full of grades, scores, and statistics that, consciously or unconsciously, I always try to take my measure against all the others. Much sadness and gladness in my life flows directly from my comparing, most, if not all, of this comparing is useless and a terrible waste of time and energy.

Our God, who is both Father and Mother to us, does not compare. Never. Even though I know in my head that this is true, it is still very hard to fully accept it with my whole being."

Henri Nouwen "The Return of the Prodigal Son"

the girl of my dreams - #10

10. loves reading, and very intellectual

finally an easy one! she loves reading and is very intellectual. wow, i sure hope so! i would love to read a book together with the girl of my dreams and get into some fun discussions about it. i'm not saying i'm super intellectual, but i think i'm a pretty deep thinker. it would be nice to be with someone who loves to go there too.


good call megan!

the girl of my dreams - #9

9. akward at first, because she is a tad shy

oh Megan, looks like we've got another spelling mistake on our hands...

akward, what does she mean by this?

maybe she means "acquired" - to come into possession or control of, often by unspecified means.
so I need to acquire her first, because she is a tad shy and needs a dominant male to take possession of her. guess what? i'm a dominant male!


so how will I acquire her? like maybe in an arranged marriage? or perhaps i'll have to pay the father in donkeys and potatoes or something? is megan saying she will be a mail-order bride? that could make things quite easy actually.


let's not rule out other options though. is the k there by accident? should it read: award at first, because she is a tad shy. so that could mean i need to initiate conversation with flowers, chocolates, or a first place trophy. i think i can pull that off.

well, i don't know, but this could be a stretch...how about awkward at first???


i guess this fits. it will be awkward at first cause she is a tad bit shy (which i am also, so yeah, it will definitely be awkward at first). in googling the word akward i came across the akward turtle.


this is what i will do when we first meet to signal that it is akward.

awkward can be fun, though. i've actually been thinking lately about how to make life more awkward for my own amusement. this thought came to me on The Office last week with this conversation:


Michael: We'll get him to hit on somebody and then we'll catch him in the act.


Dwight: I love catching people in the act.


Michael: mmm...


Dwight: That's why I always whip open doors.


Michael: Me too.

For the record, I hate catching people in the act. When I was a teen we were on a roadtrip somewhere with youth and we stopped at the gas station. I went to use the washroom. The door was unlocked. I opened it. I then saw the biggest butt I have seen in my entire life. I quickly closed the door and ran back to the bus. I did not want the person knowing I caught them naked in the bathroom.


Whenever I am staying at someone's house I always make lots of noise and foot stomps when I'm coming into a room. I don't want to surprise people and catch them doing something embarrassing. I once walked upstairs and the lady of the house I was staying at was in her underwear coming out of the shower. I didn't see her but she screamed and jumped into her room. That was not fun.


But now I'm rethinking that. Jerry Seinfeld has a routine about leaving bathroom doors unlocked. Whenever you walk in on someone by accident you are more embarrassed than they are. So Jerry says he leaves bathroom doors unlocked on planes so he can see other people get embarrassed when they walk in on him. (He worded this so much better than me, but I couldn't find the exact quote!)

It is only awkward if I make it awkward. If I catch someone in the act and I act awkward, it will be awkward, but if I act like nothing is awkward, than it will be a hilarious situation. And not just that, but I can be much more awkward all the time. Although, I guess I don't want to alienate people. I guess I just need to find a way to be awkward, but in a way that makes it amusing not just for me, but for everyone (including the girl of my dreams).


Oh, Michael Cera, that's who I need to emulate!