Sunday, July 23, 2006

I Love Kids

Kids are a lot of fun. My brother Kevin and his wife Erin have two of them. They are missionaries in Madagascar. Here is a picture of the two kids:

Ben & Morgan

They were here visiting for my sister's wedding, but they returned to Africa yesterday. Thankfully, I got to spend some time with them while they were here. So why do I love kids, and more specifically these two kids?

1. It requires almost no effort to make them laugh. With adults I usually have 20 failed attempts before I get 1 successful chuckle. All I have to do with kids is make a funny face or say something silly and they are rolling around on the floor.

2. Kids love me. This also applies to old ladies. Doesn't matter how well they know me, all kids and grandmas adore me. I guess I have some God-given charm that pours out of me. The downside, unfortunately, is that with ladies my own age it takes incredible effort to squeeze out one ounce of the charm that attracts them.

3. I can be myself. They don't care how stupid I'm acting. They don't care what I'm wearing. They don't care that I can't cook. I can relax and have fun.

Yeah, all those reasons are pretty selfish. But, think about your own adult life. Maybe I'm the only one, but isn't it difficult to just be yourself and not try so hard to please people? With Ben & Morgan there's no pressure to perform. It's simply pure 100% uninhibited fun. With my close friends I have that freedom too...but it's taken years to get to that point. Jackie says I'm really blunt most of the time, and I hope I stay that way. I don't like being afraid of being myself. I don't want to be ashamed of my faults. I'd rather be like a child.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

For the Record

Robyn and I are not going out. My hopes were dashed long ago!

Monday, July 17, 2006

The Roste Family Is Fun

Well, I must say officiating my first wedding went pretty good! There were a few minor glitches, but it was definitely the best first experience I could have had. My one major problem was my body. Before I went on stage I told my sweat glands, "Now look! I know you guys like to go all crazy on me when I get up on stage, especially seeing as it's hot out there and I'm wearing a suit, but you are not allowed to cover my face with sweat!" Ever since I was a kid I've believed that I have a slight ability to control things with my mind and I was counting on that telekinetic power during the ceremony. But my body let me down. The amount of sweat beading down my forehead and dripping off my nose was ridiculous! I was talking with Dennis about how I can correct this situation and he told me to install fans in my suit...but what would that do to my hair?!? I think I'll just stuff ice packs in the pockets next time.

Probably the funniest part of the wedding for me was hitting on Robyn while in the process of marrying her brother and Natasha. I, along with many others, am jealous of Natasha for securing the Roste name and I wanted everyone to know that Robyn is my ticket into the family. So I told them that for years now I've tried to get with Robyn and I'm not losing hope! I have a feeling that comment hindered my chances...

So that was my funniest moment...and what was the second funniest moment? During the reception Robyn and Jordie were explaining the kissing rules for the bride and groom. Instead of tinkling the glasses, whenever someone up front said the word "couple" a couple's name would be pulled out of the jar and they would have to perform a kiss that the newlyweds would then copy. So just as they're explaining this...some unknown comic yells from the back, "DAN AND ROBYN!" How embarrassing!!!

(This is what it would have looked like)

I also loved the parent's speeches! Natasha's dad (Dean) was awesome. My only regret of the whole event is I wish I could have been there when the Mom's were telling off the hotel staff for not being ready for the reception. I know I could learn a lot about yelling from Corrine! I should shadow her one day and take notes.

Friday, July 14, 2006

My first yelling experience

A few months ago I had to go through this process to get licensed as an official Pastor of the MB church. I think it was kinda silly, but anyways, now that I am officially recognized by the province of BC as a minister I am able to perform marriages and funerals. So in my head I'm thinking it'll probably be a few years down the road before any of those gigs come up. And the same week that I thought that, I get asked to marry someone! So that's what I get to do tomorrow. I don't have any pictures yet, but this is probably what it will look like.

And no, that's not what you think it's my knee, pervert!

So onto my first yelling experience. At the rehearsel dinner/bbq tonight I'm trying to stand and cut my steak on my plastic plate and I was having no luck, so I put the plate on the patio floor and started to cut it. Just then I look over and the Roste's dog, Sammy, is licking her lips trying to get at my food. And I politely said, "Shoo doggy, this food is for grownups like myself." At this point Robyn gave me some motivation, "Yell at her Cooper!" she gleefully exclaimed. So without hesitation I cussed that little mongrel out in front of everyone.

Actually, all I yelled was, "Sammy, get out of here!" or something like that. But it's a start! I'm not going to become a yellaholic overnight people. I've got to start small and work up. I'm surprised my first yelling experience was a living animal and not my pillow or one of my GI Joe action figures. So that story was pretty lame, I hope I have more fun yelling in the near future.

On a side note I did manage to squirt ketchup all over the wall and the rest of the night everyone kept making fun of me for it.

"Would you like some more ketchup, Cooper?"

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

At my signal, unleash hell!

I enjoy the feeling I get from yelling. It's a thrill ride for the senses. When I get angry I like to yell. However, I hardly ever allow myself this pleasure. Something inside me is so concerned with how other people feel that I don't like to raise my voice at them. I don't like making other people angry or sad.

There was once a time when I would never raise my voice or get angry at anyone. That all broke in Grade 12. My acting teacher, Mr. Edwards cast me in the school play "The Miracle Worker" as the lovable Captain Keller. Half my lines required me to yell at my wife, my kids, my servants, and even the occasional inanimate object. When it came time in practice to act the part, hardly a whimper came out of me. Mr. Ed told me I needed to really get angry and throw my whole self into this role. So I went to say the lines again and still they were pathetic. He had me repeat the same line over and over again yelling at me to be more aggressive. I had this fine wall built inside me and with each repetition bigger cracks began to form. Finally the dam broke and all my pent up rage and anger from years of silence gushed out. A monster was unleashed. When it came time to the actual performance a friend came and told me after, "You were such a bastard!" Sweet, innocent Danny??? How could this be? Ever since that experience anger has meant so much more to me.

Yet, even today when I get upset I hold it in and store my emotions in little bottles that I place on a tiny little shelf just above my stomach. I have decided that it is time for this to finally end.

You see this picture here? This is from a recent youth retreat. Inside I am absolutely furious. I could probably kill a small goat with my bare hands if one just happened to walk by. But did I? No. Did I even yell or punch something? No. This was my reaction to the photographer, "Right now I am quite angry." That was the extent of my venting.

This has got to stop people. My body and mind cannot handle this containment any longer. I am going to yell. I am going to get pissed off. I am going to tell you off! That's right! You in the brown shirt, I'm talking to you!!! A few years ago I made it my mission to be more "touchy". I hugged a lot of people, too much in my opinion, but it had to be done. Well now I have a new mission: To yell more. Pretty straight forward, whenever I'm upset I will yell. Subway lady puts a heap of mustard on my sandwich: I SAID A SMALL STRIPE OF MUSTARD!!! Robyn says she's bored and doesn't want to finish playing the board game: TOO BAD! YOU CAME HERE TO PLAY BOARD GAMES AND WE'RE GOING TO FINISH IT!!! Brent says we're packing everything into two cars: THERE'S NO WAY THIS WILL FIT IN BOTH CARS! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BRING YOUR TRUCK TOO!!!!!!

Enough said.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


At the moment I have no couches in my house. I got some from a friend when I moved to Ladner, but I didn't really like them so to the church they went. Turns out that was 3 months ago and I'm still couchless. Unfortunately, I also have very little money right now so I'm stuck with only a chair. And now to top it all off, I'm really craving a camera. I feel like my life is void without one. So what will I do?!? This blog is going to be pretty boring with pictures, but my house is tremendously bare without couches. What a predicament!