Sunday, September 28, 2008

People I Don't Like

(this is not one of those people...)

"Honesty is the best policy."

I strongly believe in that statement. But still, people often don't like to hear the truth...especially from me.

There are some people out there that I do not like. Does that make me a jerk? Of course not, because all people, every person on this planet earth, all those who proudly call themselves "humans," could name others that they would classify as "people I do not like."

But the minute you find out that I don't like you, THEN I become a jerk?!? Does that make logical sense? Really, it's nothing personal (well...I guess it sort of is, haha). What I mean to say is, just because I don't like you doesn't mean your self-worth should be diminished. I'm sure there are lots of people out there that actually do like you (seriously you have a lot of facebook friends!). It really is a subjective matter of personal taste.

For example: I don't like cilantro. That's just me, I'm not going around the world telling everyone to destroy cilantro. I don't hate you if you do like cilantro. I just don't want it anywhere near me. Not only do I not want it in my food, I don't even want the smell of it to graze my nostril hairs.

Therefore: I don't like you. That's just me, I'm not going around the world telling everyone to destroy you. I don't hate people that do like you. I just don't want you anywhere near me. Not only do I not want you in my conversations, I don't even want you in the same room as me.

Does that make me a jerk??? Of course not.

And I get that there are people out there that don't like me. I'm fine with that. My problem is when you pretend to like me when you really don't. So just stop, I don't care if you don't like me. I have too many facebook friends as it is.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

My Friends - Josh Hughes

This is Josh.

I have been Josh's friend from the first day I met him (I don't know if he feels the same...).

Josh makes me laugh,

But he is also serious, and very thoughful when it comes to his relationship with God.

I like that.

This video reminds me of Josh. Cause he often smiles at me like that.

It always makes me laugh (just like Josh).

One time I was in Blockbuster, where Josh works. He didn't see me, so I stood behind the popcorn aisle so he could just see my head. I then stared at him and smiled like he smiles at me. I stood there 5 minutes before he noticed me. I don't know what other people in the store thought.

The End.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Jesus is *ahem* My Coach.

Not only is Jesus everywhere...he also helps you out with everything. Take sports for example. Jesus isn't just cheering from the sidelines. No, he's out there with you every step of the way. Thankfully, someone has recreated these precious moments for us to display on our dresser? mantle? nightstand? Wherever you feel it best inspires you...

I've divided these figures into three convenient categories:

1. The Ridiculous

Wasn't it Jesus who said the First will kick everyone's...oh wait, hmm I need to look that up again.

If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn and block the left! Thanks Jesus!!

How is Jesus going to keep up with them?

Okay, these next ones really bother me cause not only is Jesus our coach, he also comes along and plays too!

I'm not sure that's the right footwear, or uniform. Which team is he on anyway?

Once again, sandals are great for basketball...and I don't think Jesus is being very fair. Maybe he's giving them a lesson on how the kingdom of heaven is like a tall guy dominating a game of basketball against kids.

Not really sure what kind of play Jesus is executing here. And no helmet??? Way to set an example... least Jesus isn't wearing sandals.

Wow, Jesus is going to get frostbite. Not even a toque!

2. The Questionable

Nothing questionable here, right??? Jesus is simply handing the baton to the next runner.

Until you see it from another angle...

ummm...I hope he's looking at the baton.

Not sure it's really effective training two gymnasts at once. And is it necessary to put your arms around them?

Umm, yeah...Jesus coaching young girls ballet? I'm not sure I'd sign my girls up for that studio. Although, Jesus is very GRACE-ful (get it???).

3. The Creepy

I know, all of them are kinda creepy, but these ones are especially creepy cause I don't think anyone actually coaches little kids like this.

Ok, so are there any coaches that do the "wrap your arms around the person" to teach better form? Seriously, I think I've only seen this method used in movies where it's the sleazy guy trying to get closer to his date. So I don't think it's wise to be posing Jesus in such a fashion...especially with all the recent sexual abuse scandals in the Catholic church.

Once again, wrapping your arms around a little kid as a coaching method does not look good. You would think this company would have someone that might spot the potential misinterpretation. But yet, Conan O'Brien made fun of these statues on national TV, and this company proudly boasts, "As seen on The Conan O'Brien Show!" Which means they are still selling these products even though they know everyone thinks Jesus looks like a pedophile in them...

So please, please, please, forgive us Jesus for representing you this way

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Oh, Jesus...

People's depictions of Jesus always fascinate me. Conan O'Brien once showed all these Jesus figurines he'd found. They were unbelievable (update - I just found them and will post them shortly). Well here are some "interesting" pictures of Jesus that I have found. I apologize to the artist who I'm sure put all her heart and soul into these, but I think Jesus looks nothing like you think he does.

Oh that crazy Jesus, he just loves creating planets.

What in the world is with Jesus' face in this picture? It's so mangled and wonky looking. But boy, does he love sheep or what???

This picture is titled, "Forgiveness." At first I didn't know what Jesus was forgiving the little boy for. I see the kid has a sling shot so he must have done something bad with it...wait, what's that in Jesus' hand. Oh no!!! That kid killed a bird!!!!! If I were Jesus I would make him eat it.

Okay this next picture is absolute gold!!! I need to build up to it before you actually see it.

It is titled, "The Bride of Christ." And remember, WE are the Bride of Christ.

So you and I are accurately represented in this next painting.

How do you think you would look as the Bride of Christ?






I hope I can make Jesus that happy.

Stay tuned for even more accurate portrayals of our Lord and Saviour...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

A Special Evening With My Special Friend

We've come so far...

Back in the year 2000, my wonderful mother purchased a new car: a grey/beige Toyota Corolla. At the time, I could not have foreseen how close I would get with that car, after all I had a car of my own...

I think my first big trip in the Corolla was August 2000. For my 22nd birthday my Mom took me to one of the greatest places on earth, the Royal London Wax Museum in Victoria! It was there that I took such memorable photos as these:

Almost a year later, June 2001, my mom and I drove together in that car all the way to Fort St. John and Prince George. It was on that trip that I bought my first skateboard (which I used for a whole month!). I also had a chance to drive to Grande Prairie on my own and visit my Dad. But probably the highlight of that trip was on the way home, we were in the Chilliwack area when I finally decided to ask my mom some personal questions I had on my mind for some time. It was a great time of getting to know her, and growing deeper in our relationship.

That summer I worked at Camp Luther. As mentioned, I had my own car, an '85 Chev Cavalier (given to me by Kevin), but it was on it's last legs. At the end of the summer a bunch of counselors planned a road trip to Calgary. There wasn't any room for me, but I really wanted to go, so I asked my mom if I could take the Corolla. Sure enough, she said yes!

Nancy had helped out at camp that last week and I asked her if she wanted to go too. Maybe some of you didn't know this, but I had huge thing for her. Well, on that trip there was one night where Nancy and I drove around Calgary for hours. You see, she wasn't interested in me like that, but I tried my hardest to win her over. I remember clearly at one point being in the Superstore parking lot after all that time, and I finally asked her out. She said yes! But then a few minutes later she says, "Now I feel sick..." Hmm, that one moment became a perfect snapshot for our tumultuous relationship over the next few years. And it happened in the Corolla.

The Cavalier had finally given up the ghost, so I was once again carless. In May 2004, I was hired as the Program Director at Camp Luther for the summer. It was a big step for me and my Mom had a proposal for me. She was upgrading to a different Corolla and asked if I wanted to buy this one. I quickly accepted and thanks to my new job, had it paid off in no time. The Corolla was now MINE!!!

My last year at CBC and at Abby Free Church I used to pick up a bunch of the CBC youth leaders in my Corolla. I would also drive to Ethical Addictions and pick up AJ. He always had a different drink prepared for me. To this day I continue to love Caramel Macchiatos. That year was my favorite time as a youth leader, because of those people. Without a doubt it was the funnest and most interesting group of people I've worked with in youth ministry. I miss those days dearly.

One of those youth leaders was Chanel. I used my Corolla a number of times to woo her. Once I picked her and Jenny up from the skytrain (which was a horrible experience, I went to the wrong station and left them stranded for over an hour). Another time I drove Dustin to the airport, and Chanel to the skytrain...but to be honest I didn't care about driving Dustin, I just wanted to be with Chanel. I would have driven her all the way to Sechelt if she would have let me.

And one day I was driving by CBC. It was pouring rain and I saw Chanel running to class. I pulled over and offered her a ride. It was a short trip, but apparently it was significant. Chanel would later tell me that was the first moment she knew she liked me. We started dating shortly after that. The longest road trip I've ever done in my Corolla was to California with Chanel that summer.

In October 2005 I started working at Cedar Park Church. My first experience as a full-time youth pastor. My first week on the job, the youth welcomed me by decorating my Corolla. It was so encouraging. I love this place and the people so much.

Much time was spent in my Corolla travelling back and forth to Sechelt to be with Chanel. This was a very significant time in my life. Especially the last couple months of our relationship, when my Corolla became the first one to hear all my frustrations and anger. Especially the last day I went to see her. I was going to pick up something I needed that she had, but when I got to the ferry I realized the times had changed. I wouldn't be able to go across and come back in time. So I actually pulled out of the ferry line and called her to say I wasn't coming. I never did see her after that.

I went on a couple road trips in 2007 that were a whole lot of fun! The first was to see Snow Patrol in Seattle with Maia and Megan. We had an absolute blast, despite the fact that I got my second speeding ticket after 10 yrs of perfect driving!

Shortly after that experience I drove out to Calgary with Nooksack to see the Taking Back Sunday/Underoath concert with Kontagious and Hummer. It was such a wholesome trip listening to the Ricky Gervais show. However, at one point in the trip we drove through a tunnel that was pitch black. After we came out Nooksack and I discussed how sketchy that was. Then as we came to another tunnel I sarcastically said to her, "Who knows what we'll find in this tunnel!" Like a second after I said that the car dipped a bit, and went into a slight fishtail due to the slick snow/rain conditions. I tried to correct it but soon was out of control. I slammed into the side of the wall and spun around (once or twice, I can't even remember). Then just as suddenly the car straightened out and I calmly pulled over. Thank God there weren't any other cars around us or we would have had some serious problems. I asked Nooksack if she was okay and she was. Then I thought of my Corolla. I thought it was going to be all ripped up and ruined. When I got out of the car I just kinda chuckled to myself.

At first glance I couldn't see any damage apart from mud splattered on the side, a ding in the fender, and my hood was popped up. It was so surreal!!! There was nothing leaking and there weren't any funny smells so we just continued driving all the way to Calgary and back! When I finally got it checked out I discovered my engine had actually been pushed back by the impact, yikes. I'm so sorry buddy!!! But the autobody place did a remarkable job fixing it!

Wow, that's a lot of stories from my Corolla...and I could even go on longer. Many important events and moments in my life were with that car. And last night we crossed a milestone together. My beloved Corolla crossed the 200,000 km mark.

Dang, we're getting older my friend!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

I have nothing to say...

Oh man, how am I going to post twice a week?!?

Any ideas? Suggestions?

Hmm, I kinda understand why people are all whiny about the new facebook, but actually I don't really get it. I mean, yeah it's different but after you use it for a couple days it seems fine. So why are like millions of people against it?!? Seriously, things change, that's life, get over it.

On my facebook status I said I thought the new facebook whiners should get over it. But that's not what I really wanted to say. This is what I wanted to say:

"Dan Peters wants the new facebook whiners to shut it!"

Did you know I rarely, rarely ever sneeze only once? Also, I almost always sneeze after having a mint.

So, okay, that's all I have to say tonight...and wow, this new posting commitment is really going to rock the world. Can you feel the ripples?

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The World is About to Change

Are you as frustrated as I am lately...

You know the've had a hard day of work, come home, kick off your shoes. You grab a refreshing beverage from the fridge and fire up the old comp-u-ter. And there's only one thing more you need now to take your mind off your troubles and lift your spirits to new heights: But lo and behold, Dr. Coopernicus Who hasn't posted a new blog in 2 weeks!!!

And no matter how many times you read over the last post, it just isn't the same as getting a fresh nugget from that warped psyche. And then you look over at that enigmatic picture of him and say, "Why, why haven't you got anything new for me today????" But he just stares back at you with that mocking smirk, or half-frown, or whatever the heck that facial expression is.

Well, my friends, the world is about to change, because he has just released this statement:

"Noble readers and spirited expatriates, it is my pleasure to announce to you today, that from now until Dec 25, 2008, I commit to post on my blog every Wednesday and Sunday by the stroke of midnight. I may even post more than twice a week (wouldn't that be a treat?). There will be movie critiques, there will be remarkable insights into my character, there will be tales of adventure and woe, and of course, there will be more Kortney posts. I have never sought to dredge so deeply into the bowels of my own personal insanity, but I think you all deserve it. Fais de beaux rĂªves!"

- Dr. Coopernicus Who, September the 10th, 2008

I can't wait...

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

My Life: An Update

My life in a nutshell...

I am currently on the verge of entering my fourth year at Cedar Park Church. What a fun ride! It's like I've always been here (Shining style!).

I am currently single. Cancelled all my online dating subscriptions. Taking a break from the intense world of dating strange women I've never met before.

I could be a father, but that's up for debate. How reliable are DNA tests anyways?!? pfffff...

I now like sushi, coffee, olives, and Nando's chicken.

I weigh just over 200 lbs. It's been that way the last 3ish years.

I'm 30 now, and I didn't really throw a birthday party. I don't really understand birthday parties. They've kinda lost their specialness to me now that every day someone I know has a birthday. And I'm growing increasingly more sick of giving and receiving presents as time passes. Maybe I'll post about that later...

I've been living in this basement suite 2 yrs now and I think I've had people over 5-6 times. Is that bad? Last weekend was the first time anyone ever spent the night. That kinda sounds was my friend Phil visiting from UVIC.

I have been flossing on a regular basis the last 4 months.

I'm still quite narcissistic and arrogant (do I hide it well?).

My hair is longer than ever, and my beard is on it's way again. Oh and I have contacts again.

In the last 2 years I have travelled to England, Scotland, Edmonton, St. Louis, Australia, New Zealand, Vanderhoof, Seattle, Oregon, California, Disneyland, Kamloops, Victoria, Montreal plus airports in Texas, Chicago, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. Next up for travel destinations are (but not limited to) Disneyland, Comic-Con, Rome, and other parts of Italy.

Does that answer your questions? Or would you like to know more???