Jesus is *ahem* My Coach.

Not only is Jesus everywhere...he also helps you out with everything. Take sports for example. Jesus isn't just cheering from the sidelines. No, he's out there with you every step of the way. Thankfully, someone has recreated these precious moments for us to display on our dresser? mantle? nightstand? Wherever you feel it best inspires you...

I've divided these figures into three convenient categories:

1. The Ridiculous


Wasn't it Jesus who said the First will kick everyone's...oh wait, hmm I need to look that up again.


If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn and block the left! Thanks Jesus!!


How is Jesus going to keep up with them?

Okay, these next ones really bother me cause not only is Jesus our coach, he also comes along and plays too!


I'm not sure that's the right footwear, or uniform. Which team is he on anyway?


Once again, sandals are great for basketball...and I don't think Jesus is being very fair. Maybe he's giving them a lesson on how the kingdom of heaven is like a tall guy dominating a game of basketball against kids.


Not really sure what kind of play Jesus is executing here. And no helmet??? Way to set an example...


Unbelievable...at least Jesus isn't wearing sandals.


Wow, Jesus is going to get frostbite. Not even a toque!

2. The Questionable


Nothing questionable here, right??? Jesus is simply handing the baton to the next runner.

Until you see it from another angle...


ummm...I hope he's looking at the baton.


Not sure it's really effective training two gymnasts at once. And is it necessary to put your arms around them?


Umm, yeah...Jesus coaching young girls ballet? I'm not sure I'd sign my girls up for that studio. Although, Jesus is very GRACE-ful (get it???).

3. The Creepy

I know, all of them are kinda creepy, but these ones are especially creepy cause I don't think anyone actually coaches little kids like this.


Ok, so are there any coaches that do the "wrap your arms around the person" to teach better form? Seriously, I think I've only seen this method used in movies where it's the sleazy guy trying to get closer to his date. So I don't think it's wise to be posing Jesus in such a fashion...especially with all the recent sexual abuse scandals in the Catholic church.


Once again, wrapping your arms around a little kid as a coaching method does not look good. You would think this company would have someone that might spot the potential misinterpretation. But yet, Conan O'Brien made fun of these statues on national TV, and this company proudly boasts, "As seen on The Conan O'Brien Show!" Which means they are still selling these products even though they know everyone thinks Jesus looks like a pedophile in them...

So please, please, please, forgive us Jesus for representing you this way