Wednesday, July 12, 2006

At my signal, unleash hell!


I enjoy the feeling I get from yelling. It's a thrill ride for the senses. When I get angry I like to yell. However, I hardly ever allow myself this pleasure. Something inside me is so concerned with how other people feel that I don't like to raise my voice at them. I don't like making other people angry or sad.

There was once a time when I would never raise my voice or get angry at anyone. That all broke in Grade 12. My acting teacher, Mr. Edwards cast me in the school play "The Miracle Worker" as the lovable Captain Keller. Half my lines required me to yell at my wife, my kids, my servants, and even the occasional inanimate object. When it came time in practice to act the part, hardly a whimper came out of me. Mr. Ed told me I needed to really get angry and throw my whole self into this role. So I went to say the lines again and still they were pathetic. He had me repeat the same line over and over again yelling at me to be more aggressive. I had this fine wall built inside me and with each repetition bigger cracks began to form. Finally the dam broke and all my pent up rage and anger from years of silence gushed out. A monster was unleashed. When it came time to the actual performance a friend came and told me after, "You were such a bastard!" Sweet, innocent Danny??? How could this be? Ever since that experience anger has meant so much more to me.

Yet, even today when I get upset I hold it in and store my emotions in little bottles that I place on a tiny little shelf just above my stomach. I have decided that it is time for this to finally end.


You see this picture here? This is from a recent youth retreat. Inside I am absolutely furious. I could probably kill a small goat with my bare hands if one just happened to walk by. But did I? No. Did I even yell or punch something? No. This was my reaction to the photographer, "Right now I am quite angry." That was the extent of my venting.

This has got to stop people. My body and mind cannot handle this containment any longer. I am going to yell. I am going to get pissed off. I am going to tell you off! That's right! You in the brown shirt, I'm talking to you!!! A few years ago I made it my mission to be more "touchy". I hugged a lot of people, too much in my opinion, but it had to be done. Well now I have a new mission: To yell more. Pretty straight forward, whenever I'm upset I will yell. Subway lady puts a heap of mustard on my sandwich: I SAID A SMALL STRIPE OF MUSTARD!!! Robyn says she's bored and doesn't want to finish playing the board game: TOO BAD! YOU CAME HERE TO PLAY BOARD GAMES AND WE'RE GOING TO FINISH IT!!! Brent says we're packing everything into two cars: THERE'S NO WAY THIS WILL FIT IN BOTH CARS! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BRING YOUR TRUCK TOO!!!!!!

Enough said.

10 comments:

brent said...

good thing I brought my truck too...stupid VW car...

kinneyland said...

First off, it wasn't the VW's fault.
Secondly, Cooper I am glad that you are getting more angry with your life, but did you have to start right before our vacation together? I'm glad we decided to take two tents so Robyn and I can talk about you at night without you yelling at us

Jerthom said...

DAN PETERS!!! Man, how I've missed you (and your old binders with marks from Amy Plett still in them from years ago...). Along the lines of yelling...give 'er...I've been pretty ticked off the last little bit and been ranting...you saw the postings on my blog...haha...anyways I shall add you to my favourite's list...

Nater said...

So then I says, Dan is just an angry angry man. But you know, it reminds me of some words of wisdom I once heard in Sacremento: honesty is the best policy.

Robyn Bishop said...

Dan Peters, I did not know you were also a blogger! I support you in venting your rage, I knew all along that those nervous giggles were really just masking a true rageaholic. Let it out Dan. You tell them how angry you are. You tell the world.

DAve and JAnie said...

Dan, you are a blogger too! Wowzers. Oh i miss you and your funny funny ways! I think i remember that huggin thing, or was that before or after my time... hmm, maybe i am making things up again.
Ya know, yelling can be a good thing. That was one of the first things i taught dave when we got married. he wasn't a yeller either, but i told him to just get mad at me if he needed to.. to get his needs out on the table! So, now he yells every now and then, and while it hurts and sucks i am really smiling inside the whole while thinking "Good job dave, and good job Janie, looked what you helped to create! Mwah ha ha ha!"
Take it easy!
Janie

kortney said...

Cooooper, I fooooound you.
That was my creepyish voice.

DAve and JAnie said...

Okay, let's face it, although it doesn't seem (at this point) that you update your blog daily, i will probably still visit your blog daily anyway. Why because my husband works and i am at home. Yes, i go out, but when i can't pack everything up and get out for a while i sit and visit with bloggers i know. So, can i add you to my links section? I used to just go about it and add anyone, but i think it would be better if i asked. So??? let me know.
Thanks
Your pyscho (past... and probably forgotten) friend, Janie

Dr. Coopernicus Who said...

oh janie,

how could i ever forget you?!? i miss you a lot actually. you can certainly add me to your links list. and i will try to update my blog every hour if that makes you happy.

Tyco Montoyo said...

Yeah, I remember when you started to get 'touchy.' Wasn't it when Steve Wilson was talking about the 5 love languages at family camp. all I remember is you putting your arm around me and starting to hug me. It felt awkward because I knew it wasn't your love language.

So, I guess i will now call you Shane.