At my signal, unleash hell!

I enjoy the feeling I get from yelling. It's a thrill ride for the senses. When I get angry I like to yell. However, I hardly ever allow myself this pleasure. Something inside me is so concerned with how other people feel that I don't like to raise my voice at them. I don't like making other people angry or sad.

There was once a time when I would never raise my voice or get angry at anyone. That all broke in Grade 12. My acting teacher, Mr. Edwards cast me in the school play "The Miracle Worker" as the lovable Captain Keller. Half my lines required me to yell at my wife, my kids, my servants, and even the occasional inanimate object. When it came time in practice to act the part, hardly a whimper came out of me. Mr. Ed told me I needed to really get angry and throw my whole self into this role. So I went to say the lines again and still they were pathetic. He had me repeat the same line over and over again yelling at me to be more aggressive. I had this fine wall built inside me and with each repetition bigger cracks began to form. Finally the dam broke and all my pent up rage and anger from years of silence gushed out. A monster was unleashed. When it came time to the actual performance a friend came and told me after, "You were such a bastard!" Sweet, innocent Danny??? How could this be? Ever since that experience anger has meant so much more to me.

Yet, even today when I get upset I hold it in and store my emotions in little bottles that I place on a tiny little shelf just above my stomach. I have decided that it is time for this to finally end.


You see this picture here? This is from a recent youth retreat. Inside I am absolutely furious. I could probably kill a small goat with my bare hands if one just happened to walk by. But did I? No. Did I even yell or punch something? No. This was my reaction to the photographer, "Right now I am quite angry." That was the extent of my venting.

This has got to stop people. My body and mind cannot handle this containment any longer. I am going to yell. I am going to get pissed off. I am going to tell you off! That's right! You in the brown shirt, I'm talking to you!!! A few years ago I made it my mission to be more "touchy". I hugged a lot of people, too much in my opinion, but it had to be done. Well now I have a new mission: To yell more. Pretty straight forward, whenever I'm upset I will yell. Subway lady puts a heap of mustard on my sandwich: I SAID A SMALL STRIPE OF MUSTARD!!! Robyn says she's bored and doesn't want to finish playing the board game: TOO BAD! YOU CAME HERE TO PLAY BOARD GAMES AND WE'RE GOING TO FINISH IT!!! Brent says we're packing everything into two cars: THERE'S NO WAY THIS WILL FIT IN BOTH CARS! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO BRING YOUR TRUCK TOO!!!!!!

Enough said.