I have relational issues, as I'm sure you all know about me. The other night I realized that I keep everyone at arm's length. But....I don't really know why I do it. I have some ideas, but I've never fully thought it through.
Some starting points:
- I like to be in control
- I have been hurt in the past and don't want that to happen again
- It's just easier being alone
- I know too many people
Let me think about this some more.
2 comments:
I guess the question is really, does it bother you that you do this or not?
If it doesnt bother you and generally you are happy with your friendships then just be who you are. If it does bother you then I think the points you have are good ones, especially the last one.
Its hard to be in church work and not feel overwhelmed by people, plus you feel like you have to be all things to all people a lot, and a result rarely feel like you can ever really be you. I found it a lot harder when I was single because at the end of the day I was alone with my thoughts and its tough when you havent got another person to bounce things off of to know whether you are being crazy or not. Arguably getting married sorted things out automatically in a certain regard, however I did have to talk it out with a counselor a bit and I would recommend that. It doesnt take long usually (about a month, with weekly visits) and I found a few tools that really helped me feel closer to my friends. Part of that was deciding who needed to be real true friends and who were acquaintances, and it is as arbitrary as it sounds, but mentally it helped me choose whom I confide in and focus on spending my time with. Not sure if this is helpful or not Dan, or if this is one the right track, but your personal observation struck me.
I have another reason.
height
haha I'm 5 feet tall.
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