Thoughts on Thinking

I love living in my head.

I could sit for hours and hours and just think. Sometimes I do that. Often when I wake up in the morning I just lie in bed and think. When I take a shower after I'm done cleaning myself I just stand there under the water and think. I've come to like driving because I can just sit and think.


I don't really like doing stuff. Well, obviously I do like it, but not all the time. I have to force myself to do stuff usually. Even silly things like going to the grocery store. Why do I not like going to the grocery store? I like shopping, especially for movies and video games, but I don't like shopping for food? I really don't get it. Actually I think it's because I know I'm going to have to haul all those bags of food, and that's what I don't like doing.


I don't like cleaning things up, even though it's really easy, and I could easily think while I do it. I've been flossing quite regularly the last 9 months and some nights I think, "Oh I'm too tired. I'm just going to go to bed without flossing!" But then when I really think about it, flossing takes no mental energy. I could just stand there and think (which I like to do) while it takes me a minute to floss. This is my latest way to trick my body into doing things. If it's mindless I just have to tell myself, "You can think while you do this, and it's relatively easy, so you might as well do it instead of doing nothing and thinking."


This is why I love movies, tv, music, and the computer so much. I can just sit there and basically let my brain do all the work. But am I me or am I my brain? Who's in charge?

I like jobs that put my brain to work, but I actually would prefer to have a job that was half-mindless and half-mindful. That's a good balance for me. I find this job is more mindful and it drives me batty sometimes.


I really do enjoy my body, and I'm so thankful for the life that God has given me. I am extremely grateful for all the senses I've gotten to experience, yet I love thinking so much and I love being able to stop and ponder the essence of life...