Why Do I Give?

Good Question Dan!

Before we answer that, how about we ask, "Why Should I Give?" I'm not going to have all the answers, this is just off the top of my head.


- To show love for that person

- They are in need

- To break from my selfishness

- To remind myself I am part of a community and not simply individual

- To keep me humble

- To bring joy

- To reward someone for their hard work (that is largely unrecognized)

Okay, what did I miss?



Now to "Why do I give?" Once again, off the top of my head (and from others)...


- It is expected of me because of the time of year/situation (Christmas, Birthdays, Weddings, Graduation, etc.) and also because of the person (relative, coworker, friend, mailman, politician, etc.). If presents aren't give at the proper time to the proper person they might feel hurt.

- I know that others will be buying me presents and I need to match that or they will think less of me or be hurt

- Along those lines, if I want good gifts from others I need to get them good gifts. Therefore, I give good gifts so that I can get good gifts (or hopefully even better gifts!).

- So I don't look cheap (Ashley)

- To make people like me

- Gives me validation as a friend or loved one (A J Craig)

- To win the "game"; To be the one who gives the best and most memorable present that year.

- Love the feeling of giving a gift no one else thought to give (A J Craig)

- To feel good about myself

- To woo someone

- To top last years gift I gave

- And I'm sure I also give for the reasons I should give mentioned earlier...


As I write this all these negative emotions are welling up:

Disappointed
Frustrated
Confused
Panicky
Insecure
Overwhelmed
Criticized
Overlooked
Rejected
Undesirable
Embarrassed
Awkward
Ashamed
Average
Affronted
Singled Out
Entitled
Burdened
Obligated
Anxious
Apprehensive
Indecisive
Doubtful
Uncomfortable
Tense
Selfish
Immature
Jealous
Envious
Angry
Stupid
Insulted
Sad
Conned
Bitter
Wronged
Duped
Resentful
Debilitated
Despondent
Regretful
Mocked
Disregarded
Exploited
Unappreciated
Belittled

Dang, this is stupid! I should not be feeling this way about gifts, but these are all emotions I've experienced from past experiences of giving and receiving presents. So yeah, I'm kinda done with the way things have been done in the past. I need to change the way I give and receive presents and how I promote my new philosophy.

What are your thoughts???

My Birthday Present to Someone Special

Today is the 26th birthday of my favourite person in the world. You know how I made that list before and said all that stuff about how you shouldn't have favourites? Well, I have to admit that after much introspection there is, without a doubt, one clear person that is my favourite:

My sister.


Jaclyn Rose Sweeney. Sorry Mom, sorry Robyn, sorry Josh, sorry Kortney, you are all second place to Jackie (seriously, I'm not even joking).




Jackie and I were quite close growing up. I remember when we first moved to Fort St. John we lived in a motel and the two of us prepared a play for our parents...but I think we might have been too embarrassed to actually perform it.


We also shared a room for a few years. In FSJ there was a dresser with this big mirror that we put between our two beds. One night I kicked it, the leg broke, and the mirror crashed down on top of me. Well, it didn't smash or actually even touch me, it more hit the wall. Neither of us got up, we just went back to sleep (I don't think Jackie even woke up).


But then nastiness befell us. I hit my teens and was "too cool" for Jackie. Plus our parents separated and I had a lot of inner anger issues that I took out on Jackie. Those were the dark ages.

We didn't talk much through high school, and when we did it was usually yelling. After I moved out of the house we talked even less. But thankfully, after I moved back home to go to CBC I admitted my mistakes to her and we began to be friends again.


oh man, I love Conor's hair in this picture...


And I have to say, my time living with her and Mom while at CBC were some of the best times of my life. I loved being able to come home and joke around but also have serious discussions with Jackie.

I totally fell in love with her, but I hardly ever say that because it's kinda awkward, haha. But I love her more than anyone else. She is funny, intelligent, hard-working, thoughtful, sincere, beautiful, compassionate, etc, etc, etc. I'll stop there.


I was even extremely honoured to propose the toast to her at her wedding. Umm, I'm not crying, my eyes are just a little sweaty today....




And the adventures continue...

I've been saving something special for Jackie ever since I found it on the internet. It is with much love and blessings that I pass this on to her.

So Jackie,





without further ado,












I now present










your 26th birthday present











from me








5...






4...







3...









2....










1.........






HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!


Look Jackie, it's Jesus praying over you and your unborn baby!

At first glance I thought this picture was outside, but that's a living room?!? But it's so oddly proportioned. And why does Jesus have no feet??????????? I like the cats though, and the ray of sunlight coming down on the tummy.

It even kinda looks like you! Haha...


Happy Birthday Sister!

Love, Dan

A Response to Comments - Part One

Thank you to all those who comment on my blog. I hope that what I write is entertaining, but also thought-provoking. Don't feel obligated to write on my blog if you aren't inspired. I'm not looking for pity or compliments. What I really appreciate is...well, what I just said I guess, comments that are inspired/sparked as you read/read my blog.

Now sometimes I am inspired/sparked to comment on what others have commented. But I worry that if I only comment in the comments section, others who don't read the comments will miss out. And sometimes I'm just too lazy to type, so I don't and then the moment has passed.

Well my friends, let me unearth the past and provide additional comments to your comments. The dates are all hyperlinked to the actual post. Before each comment I've given a brief summary of that particular post.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

One of my first posts.

kortney said...

Cooooper, I fooooound you.
That was my creepyish voice.

No comment. Yet.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

I wrote about how I find myself more real with kids than with adults (but that's changed since then).

JAnie & DAve said...

cute kids! Ahhh, don't be too hard on yourself, i know plenty of equaly silly women who would fall for you. They just live in winnipeg, sorry.
Janie

Still waiting...

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

I wrote three confessions: I prefer being indoors, I prefer forests over beaches, and I don't think all babies are cute.

kathleen marie said...

crying shame. but at least you're honest...is it honesty hour? cause i could get a few things off my chest, too. ;)

I would be curious to hear what those few things are...so yes, it is honesty hour!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

I wrote about my new love for coffee.

Anna said...

On my theology course last year, I used to get so sleepy that coffee really was the only way. It was a total last resort because I can't stand it, but my friend made it very very strong and loaded it with milk and sugar. I may not have been paying much attention, but dammit I was awake! Hahah.

I haven't tried it since, but maybe some day :)

I have no clue who you are?!? I love it, though, when strangers comment on my blog like we're best friends. That's like bonus points in my opinion.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

My adventures with the Corolla.

Jaclyn_Rose said...

Awww Dan - too bad we haven't had any special times in that car :)

PS That's kinda scary that you were driving 50km/h while taking that picture! hehe

Funny you should say that, when clearly the first story about going to Victoria for my birthday in the Corolla was in fact with you (there is even a photo of you, haha). Perhaps you were hoping for a more significant story. We did drive to Fort St. John together with Dad, but that was in the Tercel. Maybe the future will provide us a story. Oh, hopefully the baby comes unexpectedly and is born in the Corolla!! I can't wait.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

I wrote about one of my favorite topics: Alfred Hitchcock Movies.

Demara said...

I'm not sure I've seen any of these films, b4. One of my favourite's is: "Enemy of the State" with Will Smith. Have you seen it?

Yes, yes I have seen "Enemy of the State." Why is that one of your favourite movies?

END OF PART ONE.

Alfred Hitchcock

I like Alfred Hitchcock movies. I think he was a very smart man. He made about 45 movies and I have seen 30 I think. I own most of them but haven't gotten around to seeing all the older ones.

These are my top ten Hitchcock movies (the last 5 all tied):


6. The Lady Vanishes
Where did she go???


6. The Trouble With Harry
A surprisingly funny, dark comedy.


6. The Birds
The first time I saw the ending I thought it was really boring. The second time I saw it I couldn't stop flinching. The big climactic ending and there isn't even any music playing.


6. Frenzy
Love the neckties and the sack of potatoes...


6. North by Northwest
Tough luck. Nice move at the auction.


5. The Man Who Knew Too Much
Que sera, sera (whatever will be, will be)


4. Rear Window
A photographer with a broken leg spies on his neighbors from the confines of his apartment. What he discovers just might kill him! "Disturbia" with Shia LaBeouf used a similar concept. Not bad actually, but nowhere near the original.


3. Dial M for Murder
The first Hitchcock movie I ever saw. I taped it off of A&E, but didn't watch it right away. One night I was home alone and thought, "Let's give it a shot." It blew me out of the water and got me hooked on Hitchcock from then on. It was remade as "The Perfect Murder" which actually was really good also.


2. Strangers on a Train
When I was a kid my brother introduced me to an incredible movie called "Throw Momma From a Train". I always wanted to find out what that comedy was based on and it was this movie. All around great film.


1. Psycho
Not only my favorite Hitchcock movie, but my favorite movie of all-time. Norman!

My Personal Experience with Gifts

Okay, I need to write a little disclaimer before I delve into this topic. I will either be quoting people in this post or referencing gift-giving stories. And I usually never quote people when I find the quote to be negative, but I kinda need to to make my point. So I apologize in advance to those I am referencing. Perhaps you disagree with my interpretation of your quote or situation, and if so feel free to comment. I am not trying to attack anyone personally, just some of the attitudes surrounding gifts. phew, here we go...


I love getting presents (well, sorta). When I was a kid some of the biggest moments in my life were Christmas and birthdays. I remember Christmas in Gr 5 all the presents I got were just what I wanted. I can only remember 2 of them now: a flourescent light and an alarm clock. Umm, yeah, I was kind of a weird kid. I remember flipping through the Sears catalogue right to the toy section and I'd write down all the things I wanted my mom and dad to get me. I remember one time asking for a set of binoculars with a microphone attached so you could hear whatever you were seeing! Incredibly I got it that Christmas, but of course it didn't work at all like I thought it would, haha.

And I remember my 13th birthday I got some Petra and Steve Camp cassettes along with a tape case to hold them in! But I also got some Lego. That was a little awkward, am I a teenager now or still a kid? Very tough call, which I wasn't even ready to make.


Not Jackie.

Well I also got another present around that time. I think it was the Christmas before my 13th birthday. Some relatives sent presents for me and Jackie. Jackie got a bunch of Barbie stuff, it was perfect for her, she totally loved it! I, on the other hand, got a pop-up book explaining aviation. Now, I gotta admit I was super choked. I was so filled with anger and complete disappointment, but I bottled it up and no one could tell I don't think. So why was I so upset? I was 12 and I got a pop-up book!!! A freaking pop-up book?!?!? Not to mention on aviation????? That was so odd. And the thing that infuriated me even more was how my sister got exactly what she wanted, it was perfect for her, and here I was with the most ridiculous present in the world! So completely unfair...


We've all had our share of crappy presents. That's why we've got boxing day, right? If you don't like what you've gotten, you can just bring it back and get something good. It's even easier nowadays cause you can put a gift receipt in with the present. Simply wonderful.

So I've experienced first-hand the pain of receiving a terrible (and almost insulting) present. But I've also experienced something almost more painful. Have you ever put time and effort into getting someone a gift, only to have them reject it? The moment comes, you've wrapped the present just right, and you're sure this is the perfect gift. All eyes are on the person as they open your present and it's finally freed of its wrapping and...and.........you can see the look of disappointment in their eyes:( Usually they try to put on a good face and say, "oh thanks, i've never had one of these before..." But you know they don't like it. And sometimes they're even so bold to tell you to your face they don't like it. Oh the agony, as a kid I began to dread this experience more and more and even to this day it seriously haunts me.


I learned an important lesson when I was 11. I was given some money and time at the mall to buy presents for everyone. I saw some chocolate covered mints. I think my mom likes those. I think that would be a great present, I would love to get a whole box of chocolate covered mints. Oh my goodness, this box is only $2!!! I just bought my mom the sweetest present in the world and it only cost $2! That's incredible!!!!

Yeah, my mom didn't think so. She opened it and was not nearly as enthused as I was. She kinda just brushed it off. Boy that sucked. And that was not the first time I bought someone a present with eager anticipation that they would love it, only to see and even be told how disappointed they were.

So this is the backdrop, the beginning of my frustration with gifts. I get presents I don't want and I get upset (but do I have a right to be upset?!?) and I give presents only to be rejected (which sometimes i deserve?).


Oh gifts, what to do with you???

Another Free T-Shirt

This weekend I was up at Whistler with the Sr High for our annual fall retreat. It was sweet! Probably the best yet...

So on Friday night I'm lying in my sleeping bag, falling fast asleep, when my phone rings! Huh??!? I pick up the phone, and it's Amanda (an incredible youth leader). It's 1am, why is Amanda calling me??? In my dreamlike state these thoughts came to my mind:

"Why would Amanda be calling me at 1am?"
"She must have lost her phone and someone else is calling me."
"Or maybe some of the girls are pranking me."

Therefore: I turn the phone off and go back to sleep.

As I lay there I realize, "Oh, it might be an emergency." Then the phone rings again, yes it is Amanda of course. This time I answer. "There's a drunk guy banging on our door, can you come get rid of him?"

Of course! So I put some clothes on and head downstairs, expecting to see a drunk guy outside their door. But let me tell you, it wasn't what I expected. Instead of an older drunk homeless man (like I thought), it was a scrawny australian guy wearing nothing but his briefs. Yes, it is the middle of the night in November and this guy has no clothes on. And he is losing it, which makes sense because he's freezing cold. He's swearing, he's shivering, he's banging on doors trying to get some help.

But the guy is so drunk he won't listen to me. I'm trying to help him and he just keeps babbling on about how's he's effing freezing. So he tells me he was in the hot tub, so I went over there and sure enough, there are his pants, shoes, and socks, but no shirt. Ok, so I bring them over and get him to put his pants on. As he's struggling with them, while still banging on doors, I flipped through his wallet to see if he had some information about where he was staying, but there wasn't much in there.

So he's finally got his pants back on and I think, well I should call the cops or something. But I left my phone in my room, so I went upstairs and grabbed it and also brought my sleeping bag so he could be warm. As I'm talking to him and trying to get him to put the sleeping bag around him, the cops show up! Turns out Amanda ended up calling them while I was talking to the guy earlier. So out of the car comes this one police officer, and then 3 more emerge from the bushes around the complex! That was weird.

So here I was trying to get some info out of the guy but he wasn't saying anything. Then a cop shines a light at him and he starts answering questions no problem. Oh, now he cooperates and talks like a normal person. Thanks buddy! I probably could have kept you out of jail, but whatever, they cuffed him and took him away. We all had a good laugh at his expense.

So I was talking to the girls the next day and pondering, "I wonder what happened to his shirt?!?" And they say, "Oh, there's a wet shirt on the ground outside our door." Sure enough, there it is, mystery solved. And that, my friends, is how I laid my hands on yet another free t-shirt!

Gifts...oh gifts

So, Christmas is right around the corner yet again! And I've got this pebble in my shoe that won't go away. I am not happy about presents. I have a number of frustrations and I want to do a solid post about it, but I don't have the energy to do this now. Hopefully soon, but let me give you a few tidbits...


Awhile ago I boycotted giving people my Christmas wish-lists. I've since caved a little bit, but I'm regretting that.


I have railed against gift certificates many a time, but alas I have also caved and bought many of them.. Also something I regret.


My niece and nephew get way too many presents for their own good. I know we love them, but it's not healthy.


Why do we give gifts, really??? I think you have an answer, but is that REALLY why you give gifts?

So I will provide more clarity in due time.

the girl of my dreams - #8

8. perfect vision

i gotta admit, this one surprised me. i've never pictured myself with someone who had perfect vision. i don't know why? maybe because i'm such a geek i figured i would be matched up with another four-eyes. so, i would be blessed to be with someone who has perfect vision. that way maybe our kids could hopefully be glasses-free...

but, oh, my interpretative instincts are kicking in again! what if megan isn't talking about EYESIGHT???

another definition for vision is: something seen in a dream, trance, or ecstasy; a supernatural appearance that conveys a revelation


does this mean she will be one who regularly sees visions? that would be sweet. although, challenging to live with i'm sure. would she be like the lady on that show medium, i don't know?! that would be cool to be married to someone who had visions during the day, maybe like the guy in the dead zone. he has visions whenever he touches people. i would welcome someone into my life who had the superpower of seeing visions.


another option: she has perfect vision, like a visionary leader! she would have incredible plans for our life together and lead us into a successful future. i'm not sure how i feel about that, being "the man" in the relationship and all. can i swallow my pride? i don't think so! i'm in charge, sorry ladies...


or a third possibility (which i think is just delightful): she will be a perfect vision, a lovely or charming sight. aww, wouldn't that be just wonderful! if it turns out she doesn't have 20/20 vision i sure hope she is a perfect vision of beauty!!!

the girl of my dreams - #7

7. slender but not skinny

i'm not really sure how to respond to this prognostication. weight is always a delicate topic to touch on. so as I sat here to consider the meaning and how i felt about it, i decided to look up the definitions of both words, and that's when i made a startling discovery:

slender and skinny are synonyms!!!
having a noticeably small amount of body fat: tiny, lean, skinny, slender, slim, spare

so is megan prophecying something cryptic here??? perhaps she is saying something zen-like?

"For centuries, the secret doctrines of Zen learning have been transmitted from master to disciple in the form of seemingly absurd riddles called koans. Intense meditation upon these is said to lead to enlightenment"


i think megan may be trying to teach me using a koan. of course, the most famous koan is,

- "Two hands clap and there is a sound; what is the sound of one hand?"

others include:

- A monk asked Zhàozhōu, "Does a dog have Buddha nature or not?" Zhaozhou said, "Wú".

- Huìnéng asked Hui Ming, "Without thinking of good or evil, show me your original face before your mother and father were born".

- Megan prophesied, "The girl of your dreams will be skinny but not skinny."

Slender but not slender...what does that mean???!??!

Perhaps Megan is saying the girl of my dreams does not exist. Like Utopia, a place of ideal perfection. But the sad truth is: the word utopia means "no + place". It is an imaginary and indefinitely remote place. She will be, but she will not be...


Or maybe she will somehow mysteriously embody both characteristics. Like Jesus is fully man and fully God. She will be fully skinny and fully not skinny.

A third option: In one sense she is skinny, but in another sense she is not skinny. Like how a person can be called a woman, but technically not be a woman. Umm, let's move on...

Or is there a fourth option. My mom believes there is a distinct difference between the words slender and skinny. Slender being thin, but elegant and slightly below average weight. Skinny also being thin, but significantly thinner than the average weight. Maybe Audrey Hepburn is an example of someone who is slender, but not skinny.


If this is the case, get me a time machine!!! But actually, I've never pictured myself with someone who was slender but not skinny. Guess it's time to broaden my horizons! or should I say, "NARROW my horizons!" HAHA!!! oh, ha, oh, heehee, i crack myself up.....

Wú.