The Moustache Lives!!! - Day Two

I prefer moustache rather than mustache, because it kinda looks like a big mouse on my lip.

The big event for today was going to see the War Memorial in Melbourne.


That's it.


My brother-in-law Conor admiring the flame.


Breathtaking!


Roughly 250,000 pounds was fundraised to built this Shrine of Remembrance back in the 1930's.


Melbourne from the steps.


Light shining down into the sanctuary where the Stone of Remembrance can be found.

Engraved on the stone is "Greater Love Hath No Man" (sexist!). The lady was all excited for us to see the light pass over the stone. You see, on November 11th at precisely 11am the sun shines across the stone. Everyday they recreate that effect for visitors. I was kind of expecting a huge beam of light to come down. In reality, it was about the size of a penlight. I was trying not to laugh cause it was a solemn occasion. Also would have been a bit rude to just walk out (which I also wanted to do).


View from on top of the shrine.


It got super windy and rainy at this point. I regretted not bringing a jacket. In fact, you think it would be odd for me to say I wanted a jacket in Australia in the middle of summer, when as you all know, I sweat like a pig when it is only mildly warm. All those people who were mocking me, "Oh Dan, you're gonna die down there!!!" were so horribly wrong. There wasn't one day on my whole trip where I thought, "This heat is going to kill me!" I've experienced hotter days in Fort St. John than I did down under.


More shots from up top.




In the basement of the Shrine is the "Crypt". Here is a memorial to a Father and Son who fought in the War.


Huge row of medals.

Something exciting happened to me while I was down in that area. They had a number of exhibits on Australia and New Zealand's involvement in the wars. At different stations you could hear real-life stories retold by actors. At one station I was moved. You see, the voice sounded very familiar...and that's when it dawned on me:


The actor reading one particular story just happened to be Bret McKenzie from Flight of the Conchords. A single tear rolled down my cheek.

So that was the big event. Also in that day we went for lunch by one of Jackie's workplace (the coffee place). Conor and I had sushi (can you believe I absolutely LOVE sushi now???!? I even like rolls!). That evening Jackie and I decided to watch Disturbia. It was pretty good, although it's a modern telling of "Rear Window" which I think is a better movie. Conor didn't want to watch it, cause he's very different than me and Jackie in some ways (which I will get to in a later post!). He decided to go for a big long walk. He came back part way through and was mad cause he was hoping the movie would be done before he returned. Sucker!

Before we watched the movie I decided to try using their air mattress because the fold up bed was quite uncomfortable (it was like sleeping on a chain-link fence). So Jackie tried to trick me by saying there wasn't a pump, but it didn't matter in the end cause it was the worst pump I had ever seen. It was so gruelling using that thing...Jackie decided to catch a little bit of it on video. Enjoy!


She cut me off before I said "I don't know why you wanted this videotaped?!?"

I had a great sleep on that air mattress until about 1 am when I realized it was losing air. Wonderful!

End of Day Two.

I think he meant Jesus.

In church today our Worship Pastor was welcoming the guests and made some interesting comments...

"I hope you find something meaningful here...
or someONE meaningful...
I hope you find someone here you can take home with you today."

Oh boy, I sure hope that one day at church I can find someone to take home with me!!!

I Went to Australia?!? - Day One

The rumours are true, I did travel down under and I lived to tell about it. Actually, I've been up to a whole lot the last 3 months...and I didn't tell you anything about that, but I promise I will! But first while the memories are still fresh I would like to share with you my 3 week adventure to the Land of Oz.

My adventures began on Tues Dec 18, 2007 when I stayed up all night getting last minute work done at the church. I didn't get out of there until 3am. I then went home and started packing my bags. But in the midst of that, I wanted to do something fun...so I did this:


Wow I look tired...

So with all my bags packed and ready to go I had some much needed sleep. In the morning I realized I had forgotten one thing at the church!!!! Blah, so close! I had this huge list of things to do and I thought I had done it all, but missed one small slip of paper, my confirmation for the flight between Melbourne and Sydney (and then when I was in Australia they actually re-emailed me the confirmation the day before as a reminder, so I didn't even need it!!!).


I got Josh Krueger to drive me to the airport and we had some lunch together and talked about life and school. It was good times. Then I was off on my flight. I was so out of it from lack of sleep and everything, but I tried to be excited. My first flight was to LA on Air Canada. I wasn't excited about that, because I flew with them to England last year and it wasn't the greatest experience. But I was surprised when I got onboard. The plane was really nice. The seats all had tv monitors and you could choose what you wanted to watch. It was better than Westjet cause they even had movies. So the flight down I watched most of the Simpson's Movie.


Switching planes in LA was no big deal. When I got on the plane though I discovered I was in for an interesting ride. The girl beside me was so talkative. She was flying home to New Zealand from England. Strangely enough she had met another Kiwi on the previous flight and he switched seats around so they could sit together. This worked to my advantage, because then she was talking way more to him than me. She was nice and all, but just a little too enthusiastic for the mood I was in. (I wonder what she thought of my moustache, haha).


On that flight you could play Tetris. The girl was bragging about how good she was. Of course I killed her records (Tetris and Dr Mario are two of my spiritual gifts). I watched LA Confidential while everyone nodded off to sleep. One funny thing was the girl was going in and out of sleep and for some reason she took a glass of water when the steward went by, but I knew she was just going to fall asleep right away and sure enough, she fell asleep holding it and it spilled into her lap, haha!

I slept a little and watched a little more tv and finally we landed in Auckland. Now comes the crappy part! I had a 6 hour layover at that airport. That was hell. And I had accidently left my iPod on while flying to LA so the battery was pretty low, so I couldn't watch any movies that I had brought on that. So I found a secluded spot and got a little sleep, but it's not easy in an airport for me.


So I finally was up and away and headed to Melbourne. I watched most of Live Free or Die Hard. Wow, this first day is really exciting! You never thought my flying experience would be so thrilling, did you??? Oh, one fun thing...the guy I sat beside on that flight was absolutely terrified, haha, he kept looking out the window and clenching the seat and jittering the whole time. Classic.


In Melbourne I took the bus into the city to meet up with Conor. It was now Friday afternoon. From there we made our way to visit Jackie at the bookstore she works at. She was soooooo excited to see my moustache! I don't blame her, it was a thing of beauty. She was also really pleased to introduce me to everyone with that moustache. The rest of that day wasn't very eventful, or at least I don't remember what we did, I was so tired. Jackie set me up with a cot and I pretty much fell fast asleep that night.

Thus ends Day One.

I'm a little emotional...

Yesterday I was so absolutely stressed out! This Wednesday I leave for Australia to visit Jackie, Conor, and all the lovely folks down under. I made a list of things I need to get done before I leave. Well I was planning to use all of Saturday to clean my house (which it desperately needs!).


Until I slept in ridiculously late on Saturday (shouldn't have stayed up so late the night before, tsk tsk). So I crawl out of bed and watch tv for awhile (this is my ritual, the reason it takes me all day to clean is because i need ample time to procrastinate).

At about 6 o'clock it dawns on me...I haven't finished my Christmas shopping!!!

Now this might not bother you because after all, it is only Dec 15th...but for me...this is the equivalent of Christmas Eve because the next day I was celebrating with my family in Abbotsford. So I rush out of the house...I have an idea of what I need to get. So I get into Richmond, and of course, all the stores that have what I'm looking for are closed and the stores that are open do not have what I need. I walked away with 4 presents, but was missing a critical 3 more!


So unfortunately, I had to ditch out of church early to go shopping. I am such a heathen!!! I would have gone before church but the stores weren't open until 11. Thankfully I picked up 2 of the 3 presents, but sadly I have to get my mom her birthday present in January (SORRY MOM!!!!).

And then as I'm driving home completely bummed out, I realize I've forgotten to do stuff for church the next day, which meant I had to go to the church, which meant by the time I got home I was pooped and did zero cleaning...egads!


And then I woke up on Sunday with unbelievable happiness! I drove to church dancing to music. I laughed during the service. I danced and sang as I drove to Abbotsford. I had an incredibly fun time with my family opening presents, playing with the kids, and coming in 3rd at Ticket to Ride. Then I had a young adults night at the Funk's and also had a really fun time hanging out with the previous grads I've missed a lot!

And now I'm ripping music and burning cds for my sister, extremely excited about what awaits me over the next 3 weeks. It's funny how emotions can flip like that...

Erm, I'm a little confused...

I went to A&W tonight for a quick bite to eat. I asked them if they had any 2 burger deals like they usually do. Instead that had a burger and fries deal, which upon closer inspection wasn't a deal, it was the same price as buying them individually. Seeing as how I don't really like fries that much I just asked for one burger.

And then it got a little weird...She wasn't punching anything in but she was looking at the register and was saying umm and uhh over and over. She asked me if it was for here and I said to go and she kept shifting around all suspicious like. She quickly ducked into the kitchen and mumbled something to the cook then came back.


Then under her breath she said, "I have an offer I'd like to propose to you." That was unexpected...it kinda sparked something inside me, like I was about to be recruited by a secret division of the CIA or something. She got the order for the guy who was before me and gave it to him and then turned back to me, "We have a new sirloin burger and I would like to offer that to you instead." Then she mumbled some more stuff about take out and how it tastes or something but I didn't quite grasp it.


But then I realized, she is giving me a free burger! So I was like, yeah for sure!!! So I stood there waiting kind of still in shock, not really sure what's going on here. From what she mumbled I figured the agreement was I try out this burger but I have to fill out some evaluation paper for them. I have no problems with that.


But then she gives me the burger in a bag to go. Huh?!? And there's no evaluation or anything. After giving me the burger she goes right to helping the next customer. I kinda stood there not really sure what to do. So eventually I just left...and drove away...not really sure what just happened...

WHY DID THEY GIVE ME A FREE BURGER????? What was the whole purpose there?? Cause I'm still scratching my head, seriously. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight...

Receiving Transmission From David Bowie's Nipple Antennae - Day Six

I woke up the next morning a little groggy, but still excited to eat some of the leftover vegetarian pizza from the day before. Unfortunately, it was all in the fire. I'm not really sure what happened, but someone threw the whole pizza in the fire.


And then I saw this picture later...I have no idea what the story is behind this, but that will be their little secret.


The drive home was unbelievably eventful.


Wow, so much happened.


More action on the trip home.


My excitement is reawakened as I look at these sweet road trip moments.


What a crazy bunch!

We stopped off for some lunch in Eugene I think. Some of the guys were really excited cause they spotted a famous poker guy in the lobby. They proceeded to take secret photographs of him. Truthfully, no one could confirm whether or not he was a poker celebrity. I think he was just a random guy who sells stuff. If you recognize this face, I'd appreciate any information.




The driving consisted of a lot more of that fun stuff we were looking at earlier. And then we got to Seattle where we met up with Anna and returned the rental van.


Reloading the vehicles after the swap.

On the way home I decided to introduce these grads to one of my favorite things of all time:


The Ricky Gervais Show.

Now, sometimes the language and dialogue can be a bit sketchy on this show, but I figured, they're adults now, it's time for them to grow up. The first 20 mins was all about penises (mainly Adolf Hitler's). I figured that wasn't too over the top. However, there was a little bit later on about a certain brochure for safe sex. I hope I didn't scar those young adults. No one really commented on it much, so I'm not sure if I completely lost all respect with them, or if they were too embarrassed to say they thought it was funny too, or maybe they were just in complete shock and suppressed those memories as a means of survival.

We arrived at the border and the guy there gave me such a hard time. He asked me every question under the sun, and finally asked for the permission letters I had. As I gave them to him I said, "There's a red van behind me. I have letters for the youth in that van as well." To which he replied, "There is no red van behind you." What?!?! I tried to look back, but I couldn't cause the back window was full and it was rainy out. I started to get a bit frantic cause I thought maybe they had gone to peace arch rather than the truck crossing...I went to call Anna on my cell and the guy was like, "Don't do that!" So now I don't know what to think...he finally lets me drive on and I pulled over and looked and sure enough, there was Anna's red van right behind me! What a tool...


And then we made it back to the church. Gave one last talk and prayer for the group and off to sleep we went. I must say, this trip was one of the highlights of my life. I'll never forget it, and I hope the grads had a memorable time too.


Thanks to Eric for capturing us in our natural habitat (I'm not going to repeat how Spencer described it).

An Unfortunate Incident

tyson and I were on our way to cywc on friday morning, and this guy zipped right by us in a truck

but we caught up to him at the light

so tyson told me to yell at him

so i rolled down my window and as we drove by i yelled and we had a good laugh

except we were making a left turn and i had put tysons sunglasses on the dash and they started to slide....

right out of the open window!

so he pulled over and i ran to grab them, it was so embarrassing, there was tonnes of traffic and they were right in the middle of the lane

and then someone yelled at me!

"HEY! GET OFF THE ROAD!!!"

how humiliating...turns out it was kristian yelling at me, thanks man!

Kortney II

The other day a friend of mine said, "I was looking at your blog the other day and there was this girl commenting on your site. She's hot! I thought that you should go out with her, but then I went to her blog and found out she was married. Sorry Dan!"


Hopefully by blurring the eyes I'm protecting you (you'll understand as you read on)

Yeah, we did have a little thing going for awhile there, but I realized something about her hotness. When we would have marathon make-out sessions, 8-10 hours at a time, I would sometimes stop to look at her (cause she's so hot), and I would feel something inside me, but I couldn't quite explain it. It was like, she's so awesome to look at, and it's making me feel funny inside. Well, it wasn't until she broke my heart by cheating on me with that Russian immigrant that I realized what was really going on.

I soon discovered that everytime I looked at her my heart was slowly turning to stone! I didn't quite know how to explain it until that day she walked out on me and I crumpled to the floor. Why? Because my heart was so heavy...like a stone! Looking at her turned my heart to STONE!!!

Don't believe me? I went online and found this miracle doctor who took out my heart and replaced it with a new one. All for 3 easy payments of $19.95 (oh, and one complicated payment). Here is scientific proof that Kortney turned my heart to STONE just by looking at her:


The surgery was on the beach


Subsequently, the new heart I got was from a mysterious donor. But oddly enough I can't stop thinking of Minnie Driver?!? Maybe I have her dead husband's old heart and one day she will "return to me" ;) (That one was for you Teresa!)

Now, I try not to look at Kortney, in case my new heart will also be turned to stone. Once I was driving down the road, and I'm not sure if it was her or not, but I looked over at the car beside me and I'm sure it was Kortney behind the wheel. I freaked out, because I was not expecting to see her, and I didn't want my heart to turn to stone. So I quickly ducked and proceeded to drive into oncoming traffic where I smashed into an ice cream truck. Thankfully, the guy was still alive and he gave me some free ice cream while we waited for the ambulance.


Another time I was at Colossus in Langley with some friends, when over their shoulder I happened to see Kortney with the guy who married her (it should have been me!!!).


I freaked out, because, like I've said before, whoever looks at her will have their hearts turn to STONE! I quickly turned around and pulled my hood over my head. I begged and pleaded with my friends to help me. "If you see her coming this way," I mumbled anxiously, "please let me know so I can always face my back to her in case she walks by." My friends were very good to me and helped me out. What they didn't realize was that as a result of looking at Kortney for me, they all had their hearts turned to stone. Sorry pals...

So if you see Kortney, I believe there's a 5 second rule. And it's accumulative. That means if you see her for 2 seconds, the next time you look you only have 3 more seconds even if it's like 20 years down the road. Just pray you don't use up those 5 secs while you're still young and healthy.

Sweet dreams.